would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My dick has a subreddit
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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