Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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