Betty ford says i'm here all night
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
