we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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