those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
