Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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