alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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