My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Randomize
