just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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