After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
