Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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