Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
