I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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