What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
