really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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