he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
