Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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