im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
