there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
