We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize