I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
