I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
COCAINE IS GR8
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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