This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
