im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
