ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
