But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
