My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
