And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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