After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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