i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
