that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He did a backflip because drugs
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
