the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
