Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
