in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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