Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
People with herpes should wear stickers.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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