he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
