Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
