You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
