This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I understand Curling. That high.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
