he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
