im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
