it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
