I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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