need another drink. this is the easiest way
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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