I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
