My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
