Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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