Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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