smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
