I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
We have so much sex to catch up on
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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