If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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