me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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