foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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