I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
