as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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