I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
not ubering you a puppy
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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