You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
