and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
