I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize