I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
