I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
