At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
