I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He's a Shit stain on my heart
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
