I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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