My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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