Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
