It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
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