this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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