He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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