Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
