K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
