Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
