She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
